As I recently hit my 100th flight, I decided to celebrate it and write a post about my fear of flying. If you are looking for advice about how to overcome your fear of flying, I may not be super helpful as I have no idea :) But my fear got weaker over time and it evolved. I have been to 43 countries with my husband so far + 1 country without him. Out of 100 flights I took, only 3 times was I flying alone. As I mentioned already, I don’t have a magic formula for the fear. However, I think my post might be helpful in a different way: I am the evidence that it’s possible to fly with fear of flying, you will see you’re not alone in your fear, and I will share what turned out to be at least a bit helpful for me.
How It All Started: My First Flights
I first started flying as a teenager to visit my family and the flights were short-distance, taking only a bit over 2 hours. I still remember my first flight — I was scared long before it and during the whole journey. It didn’t get better for a long time — it was like this for years. I was very stressed a couple of days before each flight, the fear got worse at the airport, reaching its peak during the flight itself. I could feel every move of the plane, I was very tensed and just counting down the time until landing.
When It Got Worse: Long-Haul Flights and Pre-Flight Anxiety
The fear got even worse before my first longer flight. I didn’t want to give up my plans as I really wanted to see Dubai, but the flight was about to take 6 hours and I started panicking weeks before. I was even crying at the airport. Talking about it with someone was never really helpful — especially those typical pieces of advice like “flying is one of the safest means of transportation” and things like that.
How Many Flights Have I Taken Despite the Fear?
I have taken 100 flights so far and visited 44 countries altogether. I really wanted to travel the world and didn’t want to give up my plans because of the fear of flying. So maybe my reason for continuing to fly was simply my motivation. I am rather a fearful person naturally, so if I let all my fears lead my life, I would probably never leave the house :)
What Fear of Flying Actually Feels Like — From the Inside
In my case, fear of flying lives in my body. I feel tensed, I feel the movements of the airplane, so it gets worse with turbulence. Maybe it’s also connected with fear of heights — when my fear of flying was at its strongest I would never look out of the window. If I accidentally looked a couple of times it got even worse. That’s why I avoided sitting by the window. I also hated when the pilot announced the altitude we were at. So whenever I heard “captain speaking”, I would turn to my husband and start talking to him to drown out the announcement.
What Helps Me on Board: My Honest List
Avoiding seating by the window
That was my number one strategy for the flight. If looking at that enormous height made things even worse, following this simple rule was important for me.
Focusing on something else
If I focused too much on my tensed body and the airplane’s movements, it felt like being in survival mode for a couple of hours — very unpleasant. That’s why I was always trying to find an activity that would take my full attention. The best one for me turned out to be sudoku. I had to think about putting numbers into the right boxes, and I believe that such problem-solving tasks (maybe crosswords or puzzle books too) are a really good idea when the fear strikes. Another strategy was a good book or having a conversation about something exciting with my husband.
Having a talk to a stranger
I will never forget our flight with a guy from Azerbaijan sitting next to us. He also had a fear of flying. He told us that whenever he takes a flight he eats some chocolate and drinks vodka at the beginning — and it makes the flight safe :) I really don’t know why but immediately after hearing this I felt more relaxed, and it helped me for the whole flight to fear much less. Maybe his magic formula works for others too — not only for him :)
Watching flight attendants
This one was always helpful — I would imagine the routines of their lives. I thought about how many flights a month they take and how when I watched them, I never saw fear. So many flights, and there they were — safe and unbothered, just doing their job.
Flight routine
Maybe it’s not a big routine but it helped — getting out a sudoku or a book and the best part: my flight snack: some crisps and orange juice. That was my little pleasure for the flight, and I knew that immediately after take-off I would start eating while reading/doing sudoku. I think it’s worth planning a little treat, so it gives you at least one pleasant association with the flight.
How Becoming a Mum Changed Everything
I didn’t expect it, but accidentally, becoming a mum helped reduce my fear of flying the most. On our first travel with our son, he was just a couple of days away from turning 5 months old. We were first-time parents and I was so focused on him that I almost completely forgot about my fear. I had to think about how many things I should pack (and of course I brought too many useless things before the trip).
Another thing that demanded maybe even more of my attention than the baby was that I was exclusively pumping. That’s why I had to figure out how I would pump at the airport/on the plane, how I would store my breast milk and how I would clean the bottles. I am planning to write a separate post about my pumping experience while travelling soon, so stay tuned if this topic applies to you :)
My advice for getting over the fear of flying is definitely not to have kids, of course :) It just happened to help me, so I write about it. But I think it shows that when our brain is really focused on something else, there’s much less space to focus on the fear. Maybe catching up on some unfinished tasks on a laptop or mobile during the flight could be just as helpful.
Does Fear of Flying Ever Go Away? My Honest Answer
I really think that people can fully overcome a fear of flying, and some kind of therapy would probably help the most. However, I never tried it, and in my case, my fear of flying is still with me. But my success is that the fear is not as strong as it was before. I feel uncomfortable while flying and I always can’t wait for landing, but that’s pretty much it for now. These days I don’t really think about the flight weeks, days or even minutes before it anymore. I think that’s still huge progress and I don’t really try to fight my feelings about flying now. I accept that I may feel uncomfortable for a couple of hours — and it’s just part of the journey to reach my destination.
Why I Will Never Stop Flying Despite the Fear
For me, travelling is important, and reaching many places I’ve visited — or those still on my list — wouldn’t be possible without flying. So when I faced the dilemma of whether to go somewhere and grit my teeth and board a plane, or stay at home and miss a place I want to see, the answer was clear. Travelling was simply more important than my comfort. I’ve seen so many beautiful places — Japan, Thailand, Egypt, China, even mysterious ones like Iran, North Korea — and I can only say I am glad I’ve never let my fear take control of my life.
Tips for Travellers With Fear of Flying — What Actually Works
Not including the “become a mum” part :) — for me, focusing on something else during the flight helped the most. But the thing must genuinely be interesting, or the task must be mentally demanding, so that you go into a different world for a while and forget about where you are. A boring newspaper would never work — your brain will always drift back to the fear.
One more thing I forgot to mention earlier: sometimes I tried to imagine I was not on the plane but on a train instead :) The feeling is similar, excluding take-off and landing. Just don’t look out of the window :)
A note before you go:
This post describes my personal experience only. My fear of flying, although real, always allowed me to board the plane — with discomfort, but without a panic attack. If your fear is stronger than mine and you experience panic attacks or severe anxiety, please consider seeking professional help before your next flight. A therapist or a fear of flying course could make a real difference — far more than any of the tips I’ve shared here. Your wellbeing always comes first.
FAQ: Fear of Flying
Is fear of flying common?
Very — you’re far from alone. Studies suggest that around 25% of people experience some form of flying anxiety, and about 10% have a significant fear of flying. So if you feel scared on a plane, you’re in very good company :)
Does fear of flying get better over time?
In my experience — yes, but slowly and not completely. After 100 flights, my fear went from full panic to manageable discomfort. I don’t think about flights days or weeks in advance anymore, which already feels like a huge win. For some people it does disappear completely — for me, it just got quieter.
What helps with fear of flying on a plane?
What worked for me: sitting away from the window, sudoku or other mentally demanding tasks, a flight snack as a little treat, watching the flight attendants, and chatting with whoever is sitting next to me. The key is finding something that genuinely takes your mind somewhere else — not just a distraction, but full mental engagement.
Can you be a traveller with fear of flying?
Absolutely — I am living proof. 100 flights, 44 countries, and I still don’t love being on a plane. Fear doesn’t have to stop you. It just means the journey to your destination takes a little more courage than for others.
Does having a child help with fear of flying?
Accidentally — yes, at least in my case :) When I was travelling with my son for the first time, I was so focused on him that I barely thought about my fear. I think the lesson here is that our brains can only focus on so much at once — and a baby takes up pretty much all of it.
Is it possible to fly with severe fear of flying?
This depends on how severe the fear is. In my case, discomfort never prevented me from boarding. But if you experience panic attacks or extreme anxiety, please speak to a professional first — a therapist, a psychologist, or a fear of flying course designed by aviation experts. Those tools are far more powerful than anything I could offer here.
Final Thoughts
I really believe it’s possible to fly despite a fear of flying, and that there are techniques to help reduce that fear. It’s a good idea to prepare well for the flight by planning an engaging or mentally challenging activity. It’s also great to plan something enjoyable, like a gripping book or movie, and definitely a little treat.
Are you also a nervous flyer — or have you managed to overcome the fear? I’d love to know what helped you, or if you are still in the same boat as me :) Drop your story in the comments!